“This is the biggest gift I have given myself and I hope it can be for you too!”
- LJ, Date Better Bootcamp Client
Get on the waitlist for Date Better Bootcamp!
Watch this brief video for all the details!
Captions available to be turned on at the bottom right!
Too long, didn’t watch? Here’s the gist: I’m obsessed with dating and want you to be too. My work is born from noticing an infuriating gap in the dating coaching industry where all of the advice is gendered and heteronormative. I’m here to provide a dating eduction that works for us.
I’ve taken all the feedback from the first round of Date Better Bootcamp and made this program stronger than ever! We’ve got guest elements, 50% more time together, extended access to lessons, more community engagement, and new modules! I’m so excited to share it with you!
This program is born from my heart and has everything you need in order to date or date better. I coach kind folks only. More deets below. Can’t wait to get you dating better.
Who’s it for?
This is for kind, growth oriented LGBTQIA+ folks who want to learn how to date, or how to date better. It’s for folks who might find dating elusive, impossible, frustrating, or exhausting, who know there must be another way. Or for folks who want support re-entering the social scene post quarantine! Let’s support each other on that journey!
You could be: new to dating, new to queer dating, looking for casual dates, looking for romantic partnership, looking for casual dates outside of your romantic partnership (yay ethical non-monogamy!), or looking for another type of connection! All queer and/or trans folks wanting to understand themselves and communicate better are welcome.
So many aspects of dating can be hard. It can make us brush up against insecurity, brush up against our own edge of discomfort. You don’t have to do that work alone. Let myself, and a group of fellow queer folks support you on that journey.
What’s it for?
To make dating less elusive. To give you a roadmap. To provide community and camaraderie. To help you understand yourself and communicate better. To feel confident in yourself, in what you want, and in how you’re getting there, all while enjoying the journey.
What’s included?
25+ Date Better Bootcamp modules with videos + accompanying PDFs!
Three 90-minute virtual group coaching calls*! This is live Q & A time to go over modules, answer your questions, and coach you through experiences that the modules might not have covered. *Recorded if you cannot make them live!
Six weeks of access to a Date Better Bootcamp online community just for course members where you'll be able to connect with your fellow queer & trans folks in the curriculum, post your homework for me to review, and ask me your questions!
Two guest workshops/panels: including “Dating While Disabled”! (Led by disabled folks, co-facilitated by me.)
When is it happening?
Spring 2022!
Testimonials From Date Better Bootcamp
“I feel so much more at ease with myself after DBB. Before DBB, I always felt completely out of place with dating and associated it with having this queasy feeling in my chest. I don’t have that feeling anymore. I feel soooo much more anchored in myself. I’m most proud of my shift in mindset about myself and why I want to date/how to connect with people. I feel proud of being able to let go of the stories I was telling myself about myself/dating and embracing who I am, how I operate, my values, my thought processes, my wants/needs, and how it all translates into dating/general connections.”- Ashely
The main thing I got out of DBB was transforming my mindset toward dating. As someone who is introverted and on the ace/aro spectrum, I've always wondered whether dating would inevitably be a drain on my energy and waste of time. However, Ariella has helped me see that dating is about more than the narrow aim of getting into a relationship; dating is really a way to meet people and learn more about the world, your community, and yourself. If you are someone who has traditionally hated dating or found it daunting, I would recommend working with Ariella to try to shift your attitude and approach toward dating. I feel that as a result of this program, I have a more positive, optimistic outlook not only toward dating but also toward other life matters that require experimentation and persistence. Ariella is an expert at communicating honestly and kindly to others, and her specific suggestions for how to tell someone something uncomfortable were extremely helpful. She is also great at creating a curriculum that is flexible regardless of your personality, identity, desired relationship(s), or life circumstances.”- Avery
“Post DBB I have started to see myself more positively which has been a big boost to my self esteem. When I thought about dating and myself in the past I thought of all the things that would make someone not want to date me but this course has made me reframe and instead focus on all the reasons someone would not only want but be lucky to date me. Like I feel like such a catch now, not in a big ego way, but in a I'm bringing something to the table too and that empowers me to realize that I also get to think about what I want in a partner and in a relationship and that I don't have to settle. If you are feeling frustrated or lost in your dating experiences (or lack thereof), DBB is a fun, deeply informative short program that can improve your confidence and outlook on dating. So much of dating and the feelings it can bring up are so confusing, and even more so for queer folks, having a dedicated space to really figure out what I want and what I am looking for has been really powerful. I've also loved being in community with the other DBB participants, so helpful in being reminded that you are not alone in feeling awkward! Ariella is a really mindful facilitator who strikes a good balance of both being supportive/welcoming and challenging you to really dig deep into what you actually want and how to take active steps to move towards whatever that may be.” -Mandy
Here’s the schedule from the October round.
Modules
*Modules are pre-recorded and can be viewed at any time.
Module 1: Self Love & Mindset
5 video lessons including: Understanding automatic negative thoughts, building confidence, and other tools. By the end of this module you will better learn how to understand yourself, you will build up self-compassion, and you will anchor into how to take care fo yourself in this dating journey and beyond.
Module 2: Logistics of Connecting
4 video lessons including: What you’re looking for, how to find people to date, and what the alternatives are to dating apps. By the end of this module you will know what you want and how to bring more of that into your life.
Module 3: All About Dating Apps
5 video lessons including: Which dating app you should be on, how to write your profile, and how to make dating apps work for you. By the end of this module you will know how to conduct yourself in this virtual space.
Module 4: Dating Tricky Spots
5 video lessons including: Managing fear of rejection, fear of making other people uncomfortable, how to initiate with strangers on dating apps and IRL, how to tell if someone is interested, and my thoughts on flirting! By the end of this module you’ll feel more confident going after what you want and understanding whether someone is picking up what you’re putting down.
Module 5: Dating & Relating
5 video lessons including: Mindset for dates, planning dates, the art of conversation, navigating difficult conversations on dates, boundary setting, attachment theory, and post date reflections. By the end of this module you’ll know how to navigate first dates in a way that feels good and aligned for you.
Live Workshops/Panels
Live Workshop #1- “Beyond Beauty Standards & Body Image: Race & Fatphobia”: This workshop is designed to educate participants about the racialized history of fatphobia, its intersections with capitalism, and how medical tools like BMI have far reaching impacts beyond the medical industry. The role of media and marketing are also cornerstones of this vital conversation. Participants leave with a better understanding of how to combat both internalized fatphobia as well as fatphobic stigma in society at large.
Live Workshop #2- “Dating While Disabled”: Ask your questions to a panel of disabled folks about how to navigate your disabilities while dating, or learn how to become a better dater to folks who are disabled. Co-facilitated by AJ of @ZoomInRainbow and myself.
Price: $495
Completely customizable monthly payment plans are available! Average start price is $99/mo but we can make a plan that works for you!
Additional note on pricing: Running my business is expensive. Running this program is expensive. My grad school certificate and continued training is expensive. Hiring folks to help me with this work is expensive. Running my instagram and newsletter all takes time and labor and love. In efforts to keep this cost down, I charge higher when I work with institutions, but I am still aware of, and wrestle with, this price not being accessible for everyone. In the future I hope to have a sliding scale/scholarship option, but for now I hope that an extended payment plan will help you get access to this information, and will help me continue being able to provide it.
Frequently Asked Questions!
Will this course address specific issues that aren’t part of your own lived experience? (ex- disclosure of being transgender, dating while disabled, etc.)
This course has two components as it relates to me speaking: teaching and coaching. The modules are where I teach what I have studied, researched, and experimented with in my own life. I tend to teach either what I know well from personal experience and research, or have had thorough conversations about in preparation for this course.
Coaching is different. The process of coaching is to ask provocative questions in order to help you understand you better. To unearth actions, behaviors, thoughts, etc. that are true and authentic to you. In this way, I don’t actually need to have lived through what you have lived through in order to coach you well!
What are you doing to keep the participants safe?
My hope is that this course is as anti-oppressive as possible. I really care that what I teach makes everyone feel understood and valued. Though I am culturally competent about issues that affect folks who are systemically oppressed in ways that I am not, I’m approaching this course with cultural humility. I’m here for you, and welcome an open dialogue throughout the whole experience. I want this program to be as useful and comprehensive as possible, and really really care that what I’m teaching works for you!!
In preparation for this program, my course was reviewed by a DEI consultant to make sure my curriculum is safe and comprehensive to the best of our knowledge (minor adjustments to the curriculum might be made during the course), I’ve had conversations with folks with disabilities and have done research to prepare for any disability related content included, and I have a trans, Indigenous mediator on my team as a resource for folks who might not want to approach me directly if they have feedback for me or want to have a difficult conversation. I’m also currently enrolled in a Multicultural Counseling and Psychology class as part of my graduate advanced certificate at Columbia University which looks at the ways in which mental health is still largely seen through a white Eurocentric lens and how we can divest from that system.
What accessibility measures do you have in place?
Payment plans, extended access to modules, auto-captions on zoom meetings, captioned video modules on desktop and mobile with 97% accuracy, ASL interpreter on standby for group coaching (please let me know if you need one on the application!), downloadable PDFs that you can enlarge, I give you a run down of my space before live coachings, I’ve made sure the community platform is accessible via screen reader, and my curriculum addresses ableism. That being said, the coaching application asks if there are certain accommodations you need to thrive in the space so please let me know what you need! (Throughout the program there will also be an accessibility coordinator in the group forum with us, so at any time if you have something you need taken care of, I’ve got someone on staff to address things as we go!)
What if I’ve never been on a date before?
Welcome! I gotchu.
What if I’m new to my queer journey?
So fun! We’re so happy to have you here. You’re going to love it.
Is this for monogamous or non-monogamous people?
It’s for anyone with any relationship orientation! You will hear about non-monogamy at times in the course as it’s had a great impact on my life, but if you’re a mono babe, that’s cool too!
TW: trauma, abuse. If I’m looking to unpack trauma or abuse from a past relationship, is this the right place for that?
Actually it’s not. I’m not a licensed mental health professional and am not equipped to handle trauma. Therapy would be better for unpacking and healing from those experiences. That being said, this program can work really well alongside therapy. To read more about the difference between coaching and therapy click HERE.
How long will the video lessons be?
Each Module listed above has 3-5 lessons within it- each averaging around 10-15 minutes. It’s a lot of information. Sometimes the lessons have power points, sometimes it’s me reading aloud, sometimes it’s just me talking! I made whatever felt most applicable to the lesson being taught and wanted to cover the bases for a variety of learning styles!
How long do I have course access for?
You’ll have access to the modules for at least one year after this program! You’ll loose access to our community forum at the end of the program.
Will I be able to ask you questions privately during the course?
Since this isn’t 1:1 coaching, the hope is that most questions will be asked in our course forum because someone else probably has that question too! Posting your own vulnerable questions encourages other folks to do the same and then you get to learn from them! That being said, if there is something sensitive you want to address with me alone, you can DM me.
What is the age range of people in this group?
This course is for folks 18+ only. My previous clients have been from early 20s to early 40s, so I’m guessing the folks in this program will fall within that range or slightly out of it. If you aren’t in that range, you are still welcome! If you have some trepidations and want to make sure you’ll feel comfortable in the space with folks of a different age, feel free to message me to continue the conversation.